Which dog breeds would these ministers be?

In an effort to engage more Canadians with politics, I decided to appeal to politically disaffected Canadian dog lovers by comparing our newly appointed cabinet ministers with their corresponding dog breed. In so doing, dog lovers everywhere will be able to make sense of the loud barking of John Baird during Question Period and explain why Maxime Bernier is so gaffe-prone.

Stubborn, defiant with a
 "high prey drive"...and creepy hair 

But first, we must start with the top dog himself, the Prime Minister. Stephen Harper is unquestionably an Afghan Hound. This breed is aloof and dignified. If it were to give a stump speech, it would repeat the same thing without interest or variation. When this hound feels mistreated, it will develop a stubborn and defiant streak. Would it listen to requests? Possibly. But it would limit them to 5 per day in defiance to perceived bias. The Afghan Hound is not a very obedient either as it would likely stonewall and refuse to fetch documents showing the full costs of its crime bill. This breed also has a "high prey drive" and can prove dangerous to smaller animals. The animals at risk are often red-colored and named Stephane Dion or Michael Ignatieff.

(Because you don't know the rules!)

John Baird is Stephen Harper's guard dog. That's why the new Foreign Affairs minister is a perfect fit as an English Mastiff. It is distinguishable by its enormous size, massive head and angry temperament. This large animal is extremely stubborn but proves to be very loyal and protective of its master. When provoked, it will bark "Point of order!" over and over again until it intimidates all those in its territory. If challenged repeatedly, it will not listen to anyone and threaten to "go over the heads of the members of Parliament; go over the heads, frankly, of the Governor General; go right to the Canadian people." If something endangers its master, like the Kyoto Protocol, it will fight vigorously to keep it at bay.

(Have I been a bad dog again?)

Maxime Bernier, a natural beagle, is now cabinet minister of state for tourism and small business. Beagles are warm and affectionate but have a constant need for companionship. Beagles have the highest excitability rating of any dog and are easily distracted. This can lead to a beagle leaving confidential NATO briefing papers with his ex-puppy playmate in her doghouse without realizing it for over five weeks. However, when they find a scent, the beagle is not easily deterred from obtaining its goal. Sometimes, that can be a detriment as this dog might bark something undiplomatic such as demanding the dismissal of the governor of Kandahar. No matter how much training you give the beagle, he will ultimately do something silly.

(Can we prorogue Parliament
so we can play?)

Peter MacKay is a classic golden retriever. This dog is easy to handle, has exceptional tolerance, is highly obedient and therefore makes for an exceptional domesticated pet. This golden retriever even makes friends in dubious circumstances. However, the high sociability of this pet also means it's a poor guard dog and is out of his element when confronted with the Middle-East conflict even though he's minister of national defense. However, this pup's demeanor is difficult to dampen even when it's in charge of something morally reprehensible as the Canadian Afghan detainee abuse scandal. But this cheerful pooch does feel bad when he lacks companionship. If not properly loved, this doggie will have a heart that's a little banged up.

(Don't look at me with contempt.)

Bev Oda is that little pug you love to hate in her role as minister of International Cooperation. As a rule, pugs don't work very hard and are very laid-back. One of their favorite activities is lounging around in limousines to unwind.  While their little stature isn't imposing, they are very loyal guard dogs. Their defensive nature can get them in trouble especially when they obscure being responsible for rescinding the funds to the charitable organization Kairos purely for political reasons. This pug's yappy nature has led it to say contradicting stories, which contributed to the Conservatives being held in contempt of Parliament. A pug's handler needs to be attentive as you don't know what kind of trouble they'll get into!