Dimitri Soudas' Mandatory Farewell Party

Question: How do you get 200 high-ranking government officials to attend your farewell party?

Answer: Advise all government ministries that a "special meeting" is being called regarding communications of the Federal government. Tell them that all top officials are expected to attend and for the love of God, do not, I repeat, DO NOT tell them that Dimitri Soudas will be there or that this meeting has anything to do with him.

Admiral Ackbar wasn't present to
warn officials of the impending trap

And so it was in August, according to Le Devoir, when Dimitri Soudas was being wished a fond farewell after 5 years of serving as a terrible press secretary. In all, 188 attended this meeting and the near totality of them didn't have a clue that it had anything to do with Dimitri Soudas.

When everyone showed up, they were treated to a presentation of the general communications officer of the Privy Council, Jonathan Massey-Smith. According to one of the officials present, the speech was totally useless because it was so general, while another pro-government conservative, has described it as "drawn out". It was about the renewal of the government's website and the media monitoring service.

Clearly the Transport Department wasn't too interested in its content unless that speech it suggested that the government begin advertising Turkish escorts.

Halfway through the meeting, Mr Massey-Smith and his assistant, Anne Marie Smart, took over the floor to make a long eulogy of Dimitri Soudas and offer him a gift: a framed photo of him in front of parliament. Soudas also made a long speech.

Were officials allowed to leave early from the meeting if they did not wish to partake in the celebration of Dimitri Soudas' career as press secretary and as the "Real Boss of Quebec"? "No, it was part of the event," says Raymond Rivest, spokesman of the Privy Council.

So what did Dimitri Soudas say his farewell speech? He explained that at the beginning of the Conservative mandate, he did not have a high regard for civil servants, but he changed his mind over time. He imagined that federal employees were beholden to the Liberal Party and would not cooperate with the new Conservative government. Some officials found the speech inappropriate.

That's right. Dimitri Soudas was able to take a commonplace government meeting and turn it into a political affair. All of this occurring under a false pretext and giving everyone the impression that Tories are overreaching their authority to force people to participate in something that nobody wants to be part of.

This also describes every single piece of legislation that the Conservatives have passed and their attempts to get the provinces to implement them.

Le Devoir reports that some of the officials wanted to leave, but didn't dare to do so. Probably for the best, I think. The doors were no doubt locked from the outside.

This video of Dimitri Soudas' birthday party reenactment gives us context.