Peter Goldring is a Man of Principle

It's easy to voice your beliefs when you won't have to face any consequences from it but only the truly courageous are willing to follow through on those principles by acting on them knowing it may have legal ramifications.

His defence: no Army helicopter
was available to airlift him out

Refusing to follow the law due to believing in a greater ethical principle often moves society forward by raising our collective consciousness. It brings about change in the world by opening our eyes to injustice. While in the moment, those breaking the law are often demonized by the majority, later generations may praise them for the principled visionaries they truly are.

The names of Ghandi and Rosa Parks come to mind immediately.

Some would suggest Peter Goldring should be added to that list. 

And by "some", I mean only Peter Goldring would add himself to that list.

Last Sunday morning, federal Conservative (until Monday) MP Peter Goldring (Edmonton East) was not only talking the talk of opposing tougher drunk driving laws, he was walking the walk. If you define walking the walk as refusing to take a mandatory breathalyser test from roadside police, then yeah, he walked the walk.

One might think that he was just completely wasted and belligerent towards police officers when he refused to take the breathalyser but you'd be wrong! This is a position of principle! On the preceding Saturday night, Peter Goldring was debating drunk driving laws and arguing against stiffer regulations.

In the past, he also argued that police roadside traffic stops for drunk driving are an infringement on our freedom.

And so, he puts money where his mouth is. I mean that literally, too. He was afraid police would smell the alcohol on his breath that he stuffed his mouth full of paper bills.

Now the cynical among you might say that he's just trying to one-up Rob Anders as the most embarrassing Conservative MP from Alberta. Between Anders calling Nelson Mandela a "Communist and a terrorist" and Peter Goldring calling Louis Riel a villain, I think that with Goldring allegedly committing a criminal act raises the bar for Anders significantly. Still, I like Rob Anders to come out as the bigger political embarrassment.

This principled position of Goldring could lead to minimum fine of $1000, up to a maximum of $5000, along with a one year driving prohibition. However, it is possible that it could lead to up to a prison sentence of 18-months.

My plea to Peter Goldring would be this: if you truly believe what you did was right and sought to expose the injustice of drunk driving laws, then demand the maximum sentence from the judge. Canadians will then rally behind you - way, way behind you - and denounce the severity of your punishment. Your inability to serve in Parliament would just be the price to pay for your crusade for justice.

Peter Goldring should serve 18-months in prison for the greater good of Canadians.

Peter Van Loan Undergoes Emergency Colonic Irrigation Procedure

Rumours have surfaced that House Leader Peter Van Loan was rushed to a local Ottawa hospital to undergo an emergency colonic irrigation procedure to alleviate the heavy accumulation of fecal matter in his intestinal tract. The details surrounding his medical mess is still murky and the situation is still fluid.

Peter Van Loan blaming the
Liberals for cold winters.

However, I should stress that this is just hearsay and the facts haven't fully been released yet.

Also, it might be important to point out that I'm the sole source of this rumour...

While you may think that disparaging a politician with gossip is reprehensible, Peter Van Loan would advocate for the principle in which I can just make stories up about him without any shred of evidence.

He supported his own party when it disseminated unsubstantiated rumours in order to gain a political advantage. Such was the case earlier this week when they made a number of phone calls to Liberal MP Irwin Cotler’s Montreal-riding over the past couple of weeks in which constituents allegedly were told of Cotler’s resignation and a pending byelection.

Van Loan defended this practice saying that rumours about Cotler have been circulating for a long time and therefore, it's fair game to suggest to his constituents that not even a year after his election, Irwin Cotler has no intention of serving out his mandate and would quit shortly. This is made all the more easier since these rumours were first started by the Conservatives.

"To say that one cannot speculate on his future," Van Loan said, "that that form of freedom of speech should forever be suppressed, is to me an overreach that is far too great."

Yes! You should always be allowed to start rumours about your competitors, pay people to spread them around so that it negatively impacts their careers. It's just freedom of speech, people. The Conservatives "get it".

Therefore, I don't see a problem with gossiping about the poor functioning of Peter Van Loan's bowels. Sure, this headline is literally deceitful but it is figuratively true. How so, you ask?

It could be said that with statements like that, Peter Van Loan's taint of politics is so repugnant that the verbal diarrhea that comes pouring out of his mouth is but a symptom of the foulness that is all too common among Conservative politicians these days.

So while I don't know if he underwent an enema or not, I do know he's full of shit; and that's a fact.