|You too could embark on a new lucrative career in the Canadian civil service!|
Now both major Montreal French language newspapers, La Presse and Le Devoir, aren't carrying the story because it essentially consists of a press release by Luc Harvey saying he plans to build the Conservative Party in Quebec and doesn't have a clue how to do it.
No one even suspects that the party will gain any traction with Quebec voters. But they're missing the Conservative long game...
Remember, in the Conservative Party of Canada, failure is rewarded with a promotion!
Just ask these lucky losers that hit the jackpot with lucrative appointments in government. Sure, the Conservatives pretty much got gutted in Quebec in the last federal election but it appears all the candidates have moved on to bigger and better things within government. Life is better in a Conservative riding: just ask the Service Canada workers. Conservatives will even export death, in the form of asbestos, just to win votes for its local Conservative MP, Christian Paradis.
So to all the Conservative candidates looking forward to finish dead last in the provincial election and move on to prosperous new jobs, I made it easy to check if you're qualified for the job.
Director, Senator or Supervisor
The [to be determined] is responsible for towing the party line. Knowledge of familiar Conservative talking points will ensure a strong, stable Conservative majority and your job.
Department Name: [To Be Determined Later]
Location: Montréal Island or Quebec City
Classification: CPC-01 or CPQ - 07
Salary: $123,800 to $254,700
Closing Date: Prior to the last day to file your candidacy in the next Quebec provincial election.
Reference Number: ETHICAL123-OIL0000584-RULES0057
Selection Process Number: SUN11-NEWS12-IS4985-THE9456-ONLY6845-NEWS2087
Employment Tenure: Lifetime
Who Can Apply:
Card-carrying members of the Conservative Party of Canada.
Preference will be given to Canadian citizens. No dual citizenship please as those people carry the stench of foreigners.
English. If you can throw in the occasional "bonjour", that's a bonus.
If you just learned to read and write and spent your adult life as a hockey coach, that's good enough for us.
Preferably the oil and gas industry.
Statement of Merit Criteria
Additional Requirements / Comments
-Must have your own Autopen.
-Must have a strong record regarding financial paper trails. Don't keep any.
-If required, army helicopter transport to press conferences or photo ops can be arranged.