That's what must have been going through the mind of National Post's columnist Jonathan Kay when he was nearing the end of his column on Chen Guangcheng, the Chinese human rights activist.
"I'm short one hundred and fifty words!"
And so, what does every terrible pundit in Canada do when he's short of ideas? He thinks: "What's the Canadian connection?"
In this hack's mind, when an international event takes place, Canadians are unable to form thoughts about them unless a "Canadian connection" is established. We surely can't empathize with those that are born outside our borders!
And all he needed was one hundred and fifty words. About twelve lines of texts. Two short paragraphs.
The Conservative Muse failed to inspire. But he's got three columns per week to write so, as they say in the journalism trade, "just keep typing".
What was typed up is - even by National Post standards - a non sequitur the like we have rarely seen. As he outlined the horrors of an authoritarian state determining the fate of women's bodies, he shut his brain down and entered a state of mind they call "conservatosis". Take it away Jonathan!
Yes, Jonathan. Canadian women are so cavalier with their own bodies that they get together with their girlfriends, setup appointments for a relaxing afternoon of "mani-pedis", go to the Abortionplex to get a third trimester abortion (have you heard of these places?! ZOMG!) and have fun afterwards at a high-scale bar to enjoy appletinis.Canadians in particular might want to pay close attention. Here at home, liberals are hyper-sensitive to the passage of any abortion law, on the exaggerated fear that the prohibition of, say, third- or second-trimester abortions might set us down a slippery slope to a world in which abortion is outlawed completely, at any point in gestation. On such slippery-slope logic do we remain the only developed nation in the world where it is entirely legal to abort a fetus at any stage of development and viability, for any reason whatsoever — or no reason at all.The Linyi example shows us that the slippery-slope argument works the other way, too: Once abortion becomes widely available, commonly practiced, and state-sanctioned, citizens and government officials become jaded to the human reality of birth and procreation. Instead, the fetus is seen as an inanimate prop of social policy, to be terminated according to whim and expedience.Even a blind man could see that this is an evil path.
If this reality frightens you, the future is worse as mandatory abortions are right around the corner!
Roving bands of government sanctioned abortionists armed with clothes hangers marauding our streets and seeking women with belly bumps.
To avoid this dystopia, the state must decide the fate of every woman's body.
It's the slippery slope logical fallacy on steroids!
Now, if he really felt compelled to make that Canadian connection, he could have put a spotlight on the Conservative mishandling of the Rights and Democracy agency that has led to its closure.
Is Jonathan Kay exhausted? Out of ideas? I don't think that's the case. His mom wrote about how she believes that domestic violence in Glee is unrealistic. In Barbara Kay's mind, it seems the near totality of domestic violence cases are "bilateral". However, in an earlier column, she mentions how a distant relative was pimped out by her first husband. By her own logic, if that distant relative ever lashed out violently at her first husband because of this, it would prove to be "bilateral" abuse, wouldn't it? Who's to say who started the trouble?
It's appalling how the Kays exercise terrible logic and hold some obscenely bad ideas!
But at the National Post, this yields a newspaper column.